You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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