I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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