Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am in a vortex of obligation.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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