At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
