sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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