guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize