Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
