There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
