I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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