U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
