Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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