yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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