Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My dick has a subreddit
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
