I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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