who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
