Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
