ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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