sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
