Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
