come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
