The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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