I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
