my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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