it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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