I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
