How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
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The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
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Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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