And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
