What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
