I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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