Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
