im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
