Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
