i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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