at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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