my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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