her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
