with your own penis?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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