had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
