Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
