y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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