Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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