HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
