She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
