He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
