he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Blood and glitter go together right?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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