i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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