Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
