A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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