did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
