ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize