i barfeds in our rink
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
