people are starting to question the shark bite story
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
