This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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