It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
