Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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