i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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