i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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