youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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