They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
