i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize