soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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