If that was your dad, he is hot
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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